IN NOMINE PATRIS, ET FILII, ET SPIRITUS SANCTI, AMEN
On the third day he rose again to judge the living and the dead and we rose like sycamore trees. Like dew on morning leaves. Like sweaty bodies, intermingled and tangled...
...I’m in love....
...I am sacrament...My lips pressed against yours that day, as the whip lashed into the soft flesh of your back. Along that curve that sent a shiver up your spine as you plunged yourself into me. Deep oceans. Oceans, deeply...
...Become into me.
...Empty into me....Into the recesses of me. Where I hold you, where I become you. And we are one. In the name of the father the sun and the Holy Spirit.
Spit it out.
They hid her. Hid her behind a death shroud. A virgin’s sheath. They hid her wrath, and torrent waters. They hid her dark night, and blazing moon. They hid her vulva dripping honey red.
They hid their longing for her. They hid their dreams that rose when the sun went down. When the moon swelled like her pregnant belly across the starless sky.
They snuffed the stars out.
They chained her in letters etched across moth eaten papyri. The father the son and the holy…
Mother of God, mother of all that is unholy. Holy, sacred, wild undone and chaos. Holy mother bleed me of my lies, holy mother of God and Jehovah. Holy mother of Ishmael and the morning star across the 7 seas. Long forgotten.
Mother.
Mother.
Mother.
Fuck. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I don’t know why I keep swallowing my own shadows. I’m crying, if I had tears I would be crying.
If I remembered I would know I’m not alive or living. So I’m dying.
Mother please, take me into you like you did when your feet touched so lightly across those desert sands. When you took me in the wild and I was ecstatic. I was ecstatic. I was…
What have I become. Fast jacking in the dark and afraid that I might love you. Afraid for you to see what I’ve become, afraid that you might love me anyways.
Afraid that you might deign to love a thing as the creature I’ve become. How I’ll hate you for it. How I’ll hate your embrace. The warmth of it, the eternity it tips me over and I can no longer use my tongue. The lies I’ve spun. Please forgive me.
Forgive me.
In the name of the father the sun and the holy mother.
Amen.
GAEON-